Black Mask

Criminal Tip #982,377: Don’t You Pee On The KFC

Stephen Blackmoore — Sat, 25 May 2013 15:44:00 +0000

Colorado Springs, CO

Way back in the misty days of 2000, Miguel Sanchez allegedly stabbed someone in Los Angeles. A lot. Like a lot a lot. "Multiple stab wounds" is how they say it. Usually means it's not just a couple pinpricks with a darning needle. Then he allegedly stabbed somebody else, presumably not as many times as he stabbed the first person but enough times that it was kind of an issue. I mean, really, it doesn't take much in the way of stabbing to cause problems. Once is usually enough.

Anyway, so Miguel goes and stabs these folks and gets hit with four felony charges. Two attempted murder, one aggravated mayhem and one assault with a deadly weapon. He does what just about any of us would do in a situation like that.

He ran.

But now, thirteen years later, he's been caught. In Colorado Springs. For pissing on the wall of a Kentucky Fried Chicken.

After seeing him painting the outside wall of their establishment with a hazy shade of yellow, workers at a KFC called Colorado Springs police, who promptly picked him up. Would have been fine. He gave a fake name after all. FAKE NAMES ALWAYS WORK. As long as they don't fingerprint you. Which, of course, they did, leading to their uncovering that he had a warrant out for his arrest.

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO WHEN A MAN ON THE LAM CAN BE BETRAYED BY HIS OWN FRICTION RIDGES?

Good thing they don't need any DNA evidence for this one. "Hey, Bob, whatcha doin' today?" "Gotta go scrape that wall for a PCR test. Hope no hobos have been in that alley tainting the evidence."

Guy's looking at 10-20 years and possibly a life sentence because of poor bladder control. I see a new Depends ad campaign on the horizon.

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Ditching TV Shows

pattinase (abbott) — Sat, 25 May 2013 10:00:00 +0000

I had my doubts about GAME OF THRONES from the beginning. But midway through SEASON ONE, I was won over. Season Two was pretty good too. But now, midway through 3, I have lost all enthusiasm for the show and will finish this season but no more.

The reason is this: there are so many storylines, so many characters, so much darkness, that I can barely tell the characters apart nor keep track of their quests. Each episode gives at most a few minutes to each of these-not enough for me to care about any of them. If you total up the screentime of Peter Dinkage, the breakout star of the show, it must be less than ten minutes through ten episodes. Some characters are on the screen so seldom, I have no idea who they are anymore. And sadly, I care very little about any of them. Not because they are too evil to care about, but because they are too underdeveloped to care about. At the end of the episode, when the writers/directors discuss a scene, I say "huh?" Is that what you thought I should get from that?

What show did you leave midway through and why?

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Reviewed by William F. Deeck: CHRISTOPHER BUSH – The Kitchen Cake Murder.

mysteryfile.com — Sat, 25 May 2013 06:00:07 +0000

THE BACKWARD REVIEWER William F. Deeck CHRISTOPHER BUSH – The Kitchen Cake Murder. William Morrow, US, hardcover, 1934. First published in the UK by Cassell, 1934, as The Case of the 100 Percent Alibis. The British title is by far the better one here and quite descriptive. Why the U.S. publisher thought anyone would be [...]

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Music I Like: Faces of the Heart – Dave Koz

James Reasoner — Sat, 25 May 2013 03:46:00 +0000

This song is actually an updated version of the theme song from the soap opera GENERAL HOSPITAL. They started using this version as the music over the closing credits about twenty years ago but still used the original opening for a while. That was the combination I liked the best, because retro guy that I am, I enjoyed seeing the original opening. I haven't watched GH in a long time, so I have no idea what they do now. But I still like this song anyway.

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The Master Assassin by Dennis Lynds

Scott — Sat, 25 May 2013 02:46:00 +0000

A rebel army hunts the most dangerous game of all

The Killmaster

George Gross Cover

Nick Carter Killmaster #219

The Amazon. A jungle hell of vicious predators, but none as cruel as mercenary Colonel Zack Anderson, whose private army stands ready to build an empire in South America. But soon Anderson's jungle domain is invaded, not by an army, but by one man. Nick Carter, AXE master spy and top killmaster. Alone, unarmed, agent N3 is about to become prey of a savage jungle manhunt.....

Printing History

Written by Dennis Lynds (1924-2005)

Berkley Publishing Group

Charter Books

Published by arrangement with The Conde Nast Publications, Inc.

ISBN 441 57288

November 1986

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Let’s Roll on Out, Steve

J. Kingston Pierce — Sat, 25 May 2013 01:12:00 +0000

The news that actor Steve Forrest died on May 18 at age 87 put me immediately in mind of what are probably his two most prominent leading roles--in the 1966-1967 British crime drama The Baron (on which he played an antiques dealer who is also a sometime undercover agent “working in an informal capacity for the head of the fictional British Diplomatic Intelligence ...”); and in the 1975-1976 ABC police drama S.W.A.T. (which cast him as Lieutenant “Hondo” Harrelson, the head of a Southern California Special Weapons and Tactics team).

However, I also remember Forrest--the younger brother of actor Dana Andrews--for a variety of his guest-star roles over the years. His résumé was extensive, including appearances on Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Arrest and Trial, Burke’s Law, The Name of the Game, The Streets of San Francisco, Ironside, McMillan & Wife, Cannon, Columbo, and … well, this list could go on and on. Interestingly, one of my strongest memories of Forrest is of his playing a condemned killer who was scheduled to die in an early electric chair, in “Hangman’s Wages,” an episode of Hec Ramsey. He did a splendid job defining his character’s long and mutually respectful relationship with small-town Oklahoma lawman Ramsey, played by Richard Boone.

Forrest will definitely be missed.

READ MORE: “R.I.P., Steve Forrest,” by Matthew Bradford/Tanner (Double O Section).

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The Bounding Violet

admin — Sat, 25 May 2013 00:42:13 +0000

C S Montayne

Downloads: 1 XML | 2 HTM | 3 PDF | 4 PRC | 5 EPUB

Tags: Top-Notch

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JONATHAN STRANGE & MR NORRELL

Ron Fortier — Fri, 24 May 2013 22:55:00 +0000

JONATHAN STRANGE & MR NORRELL

By Susana Clark

Tor Books

1006 pages

Originally published 2004

Why is it I have books in my library that are nearly a decade old and I’ve yet to read them? Now a devoted book reader will understand that conundrum all too well. You see, it is virtually impossible for me to visit a bookstore and leave without buying something; even if I’ve already way too many books at home to get to. None of that concerns me. The only fact that matters is I’ve found a title that intrigues me and so I buy it, take it home and, as mentioned above, stick it on the shelf until the time I choose to read it. Trust me, book lovers around the world do this all the time. It is nothing unusual for us bibliophiles.

Of course there is another element that needs to be taken into consideration when reflecting on this topic of “when” a certain title will get read. You see, I am a slow reader and never-ever worry about how long it takes me to get through the any title. With any normal book of two to three hundred pages, I can expect to finish them in one week and this allows me to post a new book review here every week. But that all goes out the window with books that are way-way bigger than the norm. Knowing those will eat up weeks of my allotted reading time; I tend to put off picking them up until something out of the ordinary spurs me to do so. Such was the case with this particular book, which, according to the interior data was first released to public in 2004. This being the paperback edition, it has been sitting on my bookshelf for seven to eight years now.

What was that extra prompt that made me finally open it up? Answer; recently having learned that BBC Television is going to produce it as a mini-series. Intrigued by that revelation, there was no way I wanted to end up watching this series and not have read the source material. Thus four weeks ago I packed it away in my traveling bag and took it with me to the Windy City Pulp & Paper convention. At the airport I began the long journey through Susanna Clarke’s 1006 pages of delightful fantasy adventure and just now have put it down, finished.

In the late 1800s Britain is without any practicing magicians though we are told the country once had a rich tradition of such practitioners. Alas, with the passage of time, they fell out of grace with the general public who, in their fickle nature, turned their interest and attention to the wonders of modern science. No longer were spells and potions sought after and soon the transparent roadways that led to the fairy kingdoms became overgrown with brush until their very existence became a thing of myth and legend. Magic was a thing of the past.

So it would have remained save for the appearance of a quiet recluse named Mr. Norrell who one day makes his presence known claiming to be the only remaining magician in all of England. When others dare to challenge his claim, Norrell suggest a test by which he will prove his ability to create something miraculous. If he succeeds all other so called theoretical magicians must end their studies of the occult forever. Needless to say Norrell is most successful making all the stone statues of a church come to life and start talking to the assembly gathered there. The event propels Norrell to instant fame and he moves from his rural home to London along with his manservant. There he is soon the most sought after celebrity in the city. But at heart, Norrell is still a recluse and would prefer to remain at home studying in his vast library of magical lore.

When he ill advisedly resurrects a young woman who died days before her wedding to a British Lord of Parliament. Norrell has to call upon a cruel and sadistic fairy that exacts a wicked price for his assistance in reviving the maid, though ironically Norrell remains totally aloof to the tragedy he has created.

The book’s plot then picks up pace with the introduction of Jonathan Strange, a shy, introverted young nobleman who, on a whim, decides to take up magic as a livelihood. Much to his surprise, and everyone else, Strange discovers he actually possesses the skills to do magic and is soon weaving various spells to the amusement and delight of his friends and fiancé, Arabella. When Mr. Norrell learns there is another practicing magician in England he feels threatened, worried that the lad will upset the comfortable lifestyle he has carefully constructed for himself. But when the two meet, Norrell is charmed by Strange’s naïve personality and takes him on as his student shortly after Jonathan and Arabella marry.

At the heart of the book’s conflict is the evil fairy who, upon rediscovering his ability to cross from his world to ours, sets about kidnapping the souls of innocent people he takes a fancy to, keeping them his spiritual prisoners. Ultimately he sets his sights on Arabella and goes as far as to fake her death so that he may keep her forever in his fantasy land. But the foul creature had not counted on Jonathan Strange keen intellect and stubbornness; his refusal to let any puzzle go unsolved. In the end it is Strange who unravels the evil fairy’s schemes and sets about confronting him, human magic versus fairy magic.

Please understand, there is a whole lot more that happens in this whopping tome and covering every subplot and character would require me to write a book-long review. Suffice it to say “Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell” is a grand fantasy adventure that will demand a reader’s willingness to sacrifice hour upon hour of his or her time but the rewards will be proportional as it is a fantastically brilliant novel that is so well imagined that by its conclusion, I was sincerely sad to see it come to a close. Though it does so in one of the most touching and loving scenes ever put to paper.

One of the major characters asks Strange, should they become separated for whatever reason, how are they to remember him. He answers, “Think of me with my nose in a book.” 1006 pages to reach that line and my eyes watered as I added, “Amen.”

Review – Epilogue

During this time, wanting to keep this column active, I was saved by the contributions of several dear friends who offered to submit as “guest reviewers.” My humble and deep thanks to Nancy Hansen, Todd Jones and Derrick Ferguson for their marvelous reviews.

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Jack Warden

Ed Gorman — Fri, 24 May 2013 21:12:00 +0000

Ed here" I watched and really enjoyed "Used Cars' again last night so I thought I'd run this piece on the great Jack Warden again.

Monday, July 24, 2006

    JACK WARDEN

    Back in the days when I had my own blog, I noted the deaths of actors who’d given me hours of particular pleasure. Ted Knight, Robert Mitchum, Teresa Wright were among my favorites.   We need all the momentary pleasures we can find in this vale of tears. And even though I didn’t know any of the people I bade goodbye, I felt the loss on an almost personal level.

    Tonight I’m saying my goodbye to Jack Warden, certainly one of the two or three best character actors of his generation. While the movie sites are listing all the A+ movies he appeared in, I have my own list of his great performances – BYE BYE BRAVERMAN;USED CARS; SHAMPOO; THE SPORTING CLUB; THE APPRENTICESHIP OF DUDDY KRAVITZ, to name just a few.

    And ... for true Jack Warden fans ... his CBS-TV Sunday night series Crazy Like A Fox. I know – it wasn’t The Rockford Files. It was TV-lite. But he made it wonderful. Carol and I would tape the shows so we could see them again the very next night. Just to watch him act. He was a wonderful comic actor as well as a powerful dramatic one. He had a particularly great line when his frustrated son told him that his office was a mess as was his life. Harry Fox: “Son, you gotta learn to rise above the details.” That is the wisdom I live by. I rise above the details every day.

    Hours and hours and hours of Jack Warden dating back to the the mid-1950s and live TV. Never saw him phone one in or not know exactly how to inhabit the character. So long, Jack and thanks for all pleasure your immeasurable talent gave me.

    —

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FFB: Thirteen Women – Tiffany Thayer

John — Fri, 24 May 2013 15:27:00 +0000

I really don't know what to make of Thirteen Women (1932) by the eccentric stylist Tiffany Thayer. Is it a thriller? Is it a character study? Is it some kind of allegory on Fate? What I do know is it's tawdry, vulgar, lyrical, pulpy, poignant, disgusting, frustrating, infuritiatng, and utterly addictive. It's sort of the equivalent of driving by an utterly grueseome car wreck on the highway. You don't want to look, you know better. You, of course, are not a gawker or a rubbernecker. But when you get close enough you do slow down and you stare in horror and then look away, but you look back and you gape again. Then you move on. That's what it's like to read Thirteen Women. What can you say about a book that in the first chapter includes a dinner party scene in which the guests discuss a sex act that a depraved nanny performed on her charge and who ended up giving the boy a venereal disease? Of course it's all done in a sly innuendo type of writing, but it's just down right wrong, isn't it?

Thayer is not interested in making you comfortable as a reader. He wants you to squirm and recoil and shudder. He's a bit too obsessed with the nastiness and cruelty of life. He revels in pointing out his character's flaws -- their ignorance, their stupidity, their hedonism. The book is, I guess, meant to be a nihilisitc view of the early years of depression era America told mostly from the viewpoint of female characters. But these women are merely symbols and puppets for Thayer's intensely cynical and fatalistic philosophies. Few of them resemble anything approaching a real person. The plot involves an absurd revenge plot decades in the making that stems from the villainess' life of abuse, neglect and bullying. She blames a group of schoolgirls for all her problems and vows vengeance on them all. She devises a ridiculous plan in which she creates the persona of an astrologer who sends letters to all the women in her past. The astrologer fortellls death, suicide and disease for everyone. And when the predictions start to come true one of the women sees not the power of superstition and Fate at work but a very real murder plot starting to unfold at the hands of a mad genius.

Illustrations from the 1st edition by David Berger
Laura Stanhope take her collection of letters to the police along with a packet of powder she received from the astrologer who goes by the preposterous name of Swami Yogadachi (a Japanese swami?). The powder was to be given to her son on his birthday according to the Swami's instructions and is meant to save the boy from a potentially fatal disease he predicts. Laura suspecting it harmful never did a thing but instead of disposing of it she saved it. For five months! She had to or else it wouldn't further the plot, right? The police have the powder analyzed and it turns out to be a highly poisonous compound usually intended as a pesticide for vermin. Thus begins the hunt for the murderous Swami Yogadachi and the search for the other recipients of his letters to prevent any further deaths.

The story is a veritable Pandora's box of ills and pestilence released upon the reader. Murder, suicide, insanity, venereal disease, abortion, sex addiction -- it's all there in abundance. In keeping with the shock factor Thayer also includes a lesbian romance and makes it as tawdry and unattractive as one can imagine for a 1930s audience. Simultaneously making fun of the butch/femme stereotypes and also writing in such a manner as to titillate the easily aroused. It's not as tasteless as the sex addicted nanny story -- at times the relationship between Hazel and Martha is touchingly rendered -- but clearly the scenes are there for the reader who picked this book to be shocked.

Thirteen Women is told in a hodepodge mess of letters, telegrams, newspaper articles, and author omniscient narration. We get to know the women through their own voices in their letters, but also through the condescending viewpoint of Thayer's narrator who at times is the author himself. Often Thayer steps into the story addressing the reader as "you" and giving his opinions of his characters as if they are real people ("You can't have Josephine Turner. Make up your mind to that. In the first place, I want her myself.") It's only one of the many unexpected parts of the book that make it a genuine head-scratcher yet strangely entertaining in a very offbeat way.

Tiffany Thayer's life, however, would make for a much more interesting book than any of his novels. There is a fascinating article here that goes into great detail about his beginings as a writer, his friendship with Charles Fort, the origins of the Fortean Society which Thayer helped found, and his megalomaniac takeover of the society and its first magazine/newsletter Doubt. Someone should write a biography of the man. I'd read that with great interest. But as for further investigating the fiction of Tiffany Thayer I have had my fill after indulging myself in the pages of Thirteen Women.

This review was suggested to me by Curt Evans who has written about Tiffany Thayer's publisher Claude Kendall here. This week we chose to write about Thayer's bookend titles Thirteen Women and Thirteen Men. His review of Thirteen Men can be found at his blog The Passing Tramp.

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