Jun 072012
Paperback 536: Signet Y5626 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: The Last Cop Out
Author: Mickey Spillane
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $10

Best things about this cover:
  • The logical end point of the lurid cover arms race: magnificent, unadorned, naked ass.
  • I have never hated text more than I do at this moment.
  • I seem to remember hearing that the model was Spillane's wife. Likely the same woman who did "The Erection Set" cover.


Best things about this back cover:
  • Ugh. Next!
  • "Super virile" and you named him "Gillian?" Would've been more "virile" if you'd named him "Gilligan."
  • Knowing Spillane, "orgy of blistering destruction" may not be a metaphor.
  • "Volcanic explosion," on the other hand—probably a metaphor.

Page 123~

"I was there when Lederer was blowing his top. I could hear him right across the hall. City Hall must have leaned on him because he's gotten all leaves canceled, got the detectives working overtime and eating the ass out of Bill Long because Burke's disappeared someplace and nobody can find him."

It's writing like that that makes me happy the 50s were a more censorious decade—"eating the ass out of" would never have passed muster in the Mike Hammer era, and I'm OK with that.


[Follow Rex Parker at Twitter and Tumblr]
May 312012
Paperback 533: Pocket Books 78282 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: End Zone
Author: Don DeLillo
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $8

Best things about this cover:
  • Way outside my normal collection timeframe, but the cover (and author) caught my eye—seemed memorable / remarkable—like the last thing you see before you get strangled (to death, presumably).
  • I like that it's a novel about football, but the cover only barely suggests this (title, font, "New Gladiators").
  • That's the opposite of "Fear Hand"—most mid-century covers have a victim POV, with woman reacting to some kind of impending attack. Here, the attacker (in a context that can be only dimly imagined).


Best things about this back cover:
  • Dang, high praise for a novel I've never heard of.
  • "Is God a Football Fan?" is a pretty good tagline.
  • So much for your Nostradamian powers, Cincinnati Enquirer.

Page 123~
"Gary Harkness. Good name. Promotable. I like it. I even love it."
"Relax and call me Wally."
"Right," I said.
If anyone ever says "Relax and call me Wally," you're gonna want to end the conversation quickly and get out of there.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
May 072012
Paperback 525: Ace 75963 (2nd ptg, 1973)

Title: Sex Games That People Play
Editor: Daniel Gordon
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $7

Best things about this cover:

  • So ... what game is this? Naked Opiate Tag? Pretend Overdose?
  • The font alone is skeezing me out. I think this font is called "Unclean Hot Tub."
  • "Edited by..." makes no sense. There are no author credits inside. Maybe he edited ... himself? Is that one of his "games?"

Best things about this back cover:
  • There once was a publication called "Sex Guide Magazine" ... seriously, that's the whole story.
  • I love how the book decides, rather late in the game, to go all scare-quotey with "games." "Wait, you mean all this time I thought we were having sex we were really having 'sex'? What kind of 'game' are you playing!?"

Page 123~

Sexually, he was not as passionate, but she did not mind because he always satisfied her. She told a friend, "he always manages to come through with a good one when I need him. Can I ask for any more?"

"Manages to come through with a good one" is about as unerotic as sex talk can get. Anyone who talks about her husband's sexual performance the way she'd talk about her son's little league performance deserves no love, or sex, or human companionship whatsoever.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

PS I think reader JamiSings sent me this a long time ago ... so thanks to her.