Jul 312012
 
Paperback 547: Bantam 1726 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Tales of Wells Fargo
Author: Frank Gruber
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7
Bant1726.WellsFargo
Best things about this cover:
  • It's so generic that the only thing I can get at all excited about is the adjective "bullion-laden."
  • I do like the little B&W ticker at the bottom. I just wish it was animated and came w/ olde timey music, like a player piano or something.
  • Oooh, Dale Robertson. He's .... who is he?
  • "Tales of Wells Fargo" sounds like the testimonials page at their bank website: "The tellers were super-friendly..."

Bant1726bc.WellsFarg

Best things about this back cover:
  • Oooh, Dale Robertson. He's ... nope, nothing. Looks like Generic McWhiteGuy.
  • "Maybe some sweat in their arm-pits" FTW!!!! Now that's vivid! I can almost smell Dale Robertson.
  • Flint-eyed ... rock-jawed ... smashing their eyes and jaws together to start fires. Truly fearsome.

Page 23~
"Item number 3," the auctioneer went on. "This old suitcase. But who can say what treasure might lie inside? I admit it looks ancient and worn, yet this humble and modest exterior could be deceiving. Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you not to disappoint me with paltry bids that insult not only man's intelligence but his imagination. Bid up this time, bid high. Live recklessly." 

Well, someone can say. You could just unzip it and look inside and then ... oh, I'm missing the point? All right then.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Jul 292012
 
Paperback 546: Signet 1675 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: Trail of the Restless Gun
Author: Will Hickok
Cover artist: Robert Schulz

Yours for: $10

Sig1675.RestlessGun
Best things about this cover:
  • "We need a really heroic name. How about ... a first name that will make everyone go 'What?' and a last name that kinda sounds like 'boner'?!" "I like it!"
  • I love the look of crushing existential angst in this guy's face. "Why? Why do I use this? Futility. All roads lead to death. Does it even matter if I turn around and fire?"
  • Or else he's turned his gun into a thermometer and is confirming that it is, indeed, hot out there.
  • "Hickok" looks wrong. Like it's missing a second "c." "I'm a HICK ... OK?"


Sig1675bc.RestGun,
Best things about this back cover:
  • This family sounds unequivocally awesome. 
  • Are "dancehall teasers" (great phrase) notoriously "curious?" About ... what? Science? I think of a "tease" as being knowing and at least somewhat jaded—wanting to deceive or toy with someone, not wanting to learn. 
  • J.C. Penney is proud to feature—The Paxton Brand.

Page 123~

Something seemed to push Rasher forward in his saddle. Then all at once his legs rammed straight and he reared up to his full height, his back arching and a look of spasmed agony and shocked wonderment.

The sex scenes in this book are much hotter than I'd anticipated.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Jun 132012
 
Paperback 537: Dell 542 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Fools Die on Friday
Author: A.A. Fair (aka Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: not for sale (donation to the collection), but FYI, it's prolly worth about $30

Dell542.FoolsFri_0001
Best things about this cover:
  • Reader K. Harvey was helping clean out the house of a friend's aunt and she came across a treasure trove of old paperbacks. She offered to send them to me. I accepted. So a couple days ago I got a box crammed full of Fair/Gardner books (as well as some Leslie Charteris / "Saint" stuff), all of which are in good-to-great condition. There must be 35-40 books in all. A generous donation, from which we will all benefit—I'll try to post all the covers here, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time (to highlight certain stylistic trends) over the course of the summer, while still moving steadily through my collection (don't want to overdose on Gardner). 
  • I lead with this cover because it is legendary. Future editions of this book will button her shirt and hide her panties, making her look far more elegant, far less slatternly. I.e. yawn. Behold:
  • "... just enough to cover yourself ..." Well, I guess she's ready then.
  • I love old half-face there on the left. In particular, his tie. And his eyes. He's doing that "I can magically see behind me" thing that people on paperback covers and in soap operas sometimes do. He looks like every man Robert Stanley ever drew, i.e. like Mike Shayne.
  • If it weren't for the boobs, I'd have to say "cross-dresser."


Dell542bc.FoolsFri

Best things about this back cover:
  • Mapback!
  • "Real clues" — none of the fake stuff for us, thanks.
  • BALLWIN looks allllll kinds of wrong.
  • Love the building cutaway—like a giant just tore the top half of the apartment off.

Page 123~

She pushed back her stenographic chair, walked over to a shelf, whipped out a map, and placed it on the counter.

I am slightly in love with the phrase "stenographic chair," which I did not realize until just now was a thing.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
May 232012
 
Paperback 531: Ace Double D-521 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: The Better To Eat You / Mischief
Author: Charlotte Armstrong
Cover artist: Uncredited / Uncredited

Yours for: $7

AceD521.BetterEat
Best things about this cover:
  • Allow me to pre-apologize for the nightmares you'll be having later.
  • Don't look at me, lady, because I have *no* fucking idea either.
  • This is the painting of a man about to take his own life. Or a man who is trying to get fired.
  • You know what? I don't think she's scared. I think she's kind of turned on. This painting has layers. Many creepy layers.
  • "Despair" (1963) — Oil and blood and scabs and tears on canvas


AceD521.Mischief
Best things about this cover:
  • This woman is *really* enjoying her bondage fantasy.
  • "807"is the pictorial equivalent of clownface, i.e. What The Hell?
  • Look out, Grace Kelly! Raymond Burr can see you!

Page 123~ (of The Better To Eat You)

"You didn't try to make him listen when I wanted you to go to the Village . . ." Malvina smouldered.

"Malvina smouldered" is the new "Jesus wept."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

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