Jul 262012
 
Used bookstores are seemingly more plentiful and generally quirkier in NZ than they are here in the states. I went into every one I could find (duh). I pulled a couple things out of Gone West Books (in Titirangi, a neighborhood in / close suburb of Auckland) that seemed of probably interest to readers of this blog. First, there was this hardbound book that practically leapt off the "NZ Fiction" shelf and into my hands. You ever have that experience, where a book seems to Shout at you from the shelves, even if it's not particularly flashy or specially displayed? Yeah, that's what happened here:

Pegasus.GunHand

There's something so simple, elemental, and badass about this design. I found myself thinking "Why don't more books like this?" Slightly frantic font set off against the slightly frantic geometrical linear configuration. Hot and cool at the same time. Minimal but substantial. Colorful, but with a B&W feel. Love! I also love the back cover, where we get to learn a thing or two about our author:

Pegasusbc.GunHand
Armed! Only other armed author I've seen on a paperback cover is Spillane! I'm so reading this.

The other book I pulled out of that shop is less surprising, but no less intriguing:


PengUK741.Trouble

How am I supposed to resist this? The genius of Penguin design, the beat-upness of a good book well read, the Chandler of Chandler of Chandler. I didn't even ask 'how much?' (answer: more than it was worth, less than I would've gladly paid). If I had to design a book to read on a train, it would look like this. I think it would *be* this. HOWEVER, I completely forgot that, for reasons I now forget, Philip Marlowe was not called Philip Marlowe in the UK editions of Chandler's work (despite the fact that the playwright Marlowe was British, and the fact that Marlowe evolved out of the earlier Mallory—another important British writer (minus one "l")). Instead, the detective is called Johnny Dalmas. You would not think a simple name change would affect my reading pleasure. You would be dead wrong. I just couldn't get past it. Marlowe is so far from a "Johnny" that I found it hard to take the stories seriously. It's like if Yakkity Sax started playing over the climactic scene in "The Godfather." To my ears, all kinds of tonally wrong. Anyway, the book still looks cool, which is mostly what matters.

More from The Collection very soon—I'm gonna step up production to make up for the lengthy hiatus.

Later,
RP
Jun 202012
 
Paperback 541: Pocket Books 724 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: The Case of the Careless Kitten
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: "Front cover photograph by Paulus Lesser"

Yours for: SOLD! (6/20/12)

PB724.TCOTKitten
Best things about this cover:
  • "Hey, what's up? My name's Gary. I'm here to read for the role of 'Careless Kitten.' So ... do I stand here, or ... what? Oh, too close? Sorry."
  • Perry Mason solves 'The Case of the World's Least Meme-able Cat'
  • Seriously, this cover makes me laugh more than most covers I own. What the hell is happening? I love this cat. He's like the vintage paperback Anti-Cover. "No semi-naked ladies to see here, fella. MOVE along ..."
  • This was one of maybe 30 *more* ESG / AA Fair books I got from a generous reader. That makes 60-70 total. I'm gonna start reading the Perry Mason stuff in order ... if I like it, I'll keep going (at his worst, Gardner is competent, so I think I'm going to like it).


PB724bc.TCOTKit
Best things about this back cover:

  • When Helen Kendal lost the second "L" in her last name, she knew just where to turn.
  • That's a human "corpse," I assume. Because one murdered kitten may be my limit.
  • When I want to add spice to my hot dish, I collect a scalp. Of course.

Page 123~

Della Street went on rapidly. "It's that way when someone near to you passes away. It's a shock. Your brother must have been smart, Mr. Lunk."

"Despite what his name suggests," she added.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Jun 072012
 
Paperback 536: Signet Y5626 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: The Last Cop Out
Author: Mickey Spillane
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $10

Sig5626.CopOut
Best things about this cover:
  • The logical end point of the lurid cover arms race: magnificent, unadorned, naked ass.
  • I have never hated text more than I do at this moment.
  • I seem to remember hearing that the model was Spillane's wife. Likely the same woman who did "The Erection Set" cover.



Sig5626bc.CopOut

Best things about this back cover:
  • Ugh. Next!
  • "Super virile" and you named him "Gillian?" Would've been more "virile" if you'd named him "Gilligan."
  • Knowing Spillane, "orgy of blistering destruction" may not be a metaphor.
  • "Volcanic explosion," on the other hand—probably a metaphor.


Page 123~

"I was there when Lederer was blowing his top. I could hear him right across the hall. City Hall must have leaned on him because he's gotten all leaves canceled, got the detectives working overtime and eating the ass out of Bill Long because Burke's disappeared someplace and nobody can find him."

It's writing like that that makes me happy the 50s were a more censorious decade—"eating the ass out of" would never have passed muster in the Mike Hammer era, and I'm OK with that.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker at Twitter and Tumblr]
May 312012
 
Paperback 533: Pocket Books 78282 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: End Zone
Author: Don DeLillo
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $8

PB78282.EndZone
Best things about this cover:
  • Way outside my normal collection timeframe, but the cover (and author) caught my eye—seemed memorable / remarkable—like the last thing you see before you get strangled (to death, presumably).
  • I like that it's a novel about football, but the cover only barely suggests this (title, font, "New Gladiators").
  • That's the opposite of "Fear Hand"—most mid-century covers have a victim POV, with woman reacting to some kind of impending attack. Here, the attacker (in a context that can be only dimly imagined).



PB78282bc.EndZone

Best things about this back cover:
  • Dang, high praise for a novel I've never heard of.
  • "Is God a Football Fan?" is a pretty good tagline.
  • So much for your Nostradamian powers, Cincinnati Enquirer.

Page 123~
"Gary Harkness. Good name. Promotable. I like it. I even love it."
"Thanks."
"Relax and call me Wally."
"Right," I said.
If anyone ever says "Relax and call me Wally," you're gonna want to end the conversation quickly and get out of there.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
May 252012
 
Paperback 532: Fawcett Crest M1228 (1st ptg, 1969)

Title: Venus Examined
Author: Robert Kyle
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $5


FawM1228.Venus
Best things about this cover:
  • I think she's consoling him, or apologizing for having gotten him involved in this demeaning research. "I'm sorry, honey. They didn't say anything about probes or electrodes on the fliers. Just breathe."
  • "first-rate story telling" looks lifted from a longer, not-so-complimentary sentence. Shouldn't "F" be capitalized? And shouldn't storytelling be one word? And isn't it remarkable that I'm fixated on matters of punctuation and spelling when there are naked people on my paperback cover. As a general rule, if your naked people fail to hold my fixed, rapt attention, then your cover is a Fail.
  • Robert Kyle was the (pen) name of the author of this awesome-looking book. Wonder if it's the same guy. What a shame to go from having your books look so completely awesome to having them look like this. "Sex made Tom and Linda sad..."



FawM1228bc.Venus
Best things about this back cover:
  • Oooh, *color* film! You don't say! Lah-di-dah...
  • I sure hope the answers to these questions are yes, yes, and yes, or I'm going to be as sad as those people on the cover.
  • "College students and prostitutes" made me laugh—Copywriting room conversation: "Hey, Dan, what's the opposite of 'college students?'" "I dunno ... whores?" "Perfect."

Page 123~

His name was Woods McChesney, and unlike his furniture he himself was in pretty good shape, a neat little suit, neat tie, neat mustache.

I now want to name *everything* 'Woods McChesney.'

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
May 222012
 
Paperback 530: Bantam Q4492 (1st ptg, 1969)

Title: The Gay World
Author: Martin Hoffman
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $7

Bant4492.GayW
Best things about this cover:
  • Look! Tiny, tiny gays! So cute.
  • That's how you contain the dangerous lure of the handsome gays—keep their pics thumbnail size.
  • Also, this is how the "homosexual scene" stays so well hidden from the mainstream—strategic miniaturization!
  • That looks like the wedding photograph from the first gay wedding, circa 1884. "Leopold and Jasper went on to run the most successful dry goods business in the greater Lansing area."


Bant4492bc.GayW

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Occult!" That's a new one.
  • I read "closest" as "closet."
  • "Why do men become homosexual? Well, if you could actually *see* Leopold and Jasper there, you would *totally* understand. Trust me."

Page 123~

Since we know that as we ascend the mammalian scale, learning factors become more important the higher we go, we can postulate that if these factors are true for monkeys, it would seem they are true for humans.

Scienceish! I give this assertion a 7 out of 10 on the mammalian scale.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Apr 032012
 
Paperback 515: Monarch Books MB 535 (PBO, 1963)

Title: The Sexually Promiscuous Female
Author: Dr. Benjamin Morse, M.D.
Cover artist: Photo cover

Yours for: Not for Sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)


MB535.Promiscuous
Best things about this cover:
  • I don't know who this woman is, but ... we would like to announce that we are in love.
  • Sorry, Dr. Morse, your "alarming" report is not quelling my desire to go on a cross-country crime jag with Tina here.
  • Love the uneven lettering! This is what happens when you shout "PROMISCUOUS" as you leap from a moving train, which you have robbed because you are on a cross-country crime jag with Tina.
  • Sexy sunglasses. Gorgeous gams. Casual footwear. All the trademarks of the modern-day whore.
  • She'd be in her late-70s today. So if I'm gonna find her, I better act quick.
  • Dr. Morse is (according to the title page) also author of "The Lesbian," which I believe had the famous subtitle: "Or So I Imagine"


MB535bc.Promiscuous

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Frigidity"?! Oh, come ON!
  • "Penetrating"!? Really? Phrasing!
  • I love how this book's all "beware this trend" when no one, and I mean no one, buying this book is going to see "The Promiscuous Female" as a problem. More like "... and I can find her ... where? You know, to, er, talk her out of her, uh ... lifestyle. Yeah. That's what I'll do. So what's her number?"

Page 123~

A period of unpaid promiscuity, with all its attendant minor heartbreaks, soon conditions the girl to the point where she wants to strike back at the men who have taken advantage of her.

So ... like a promiscuity internship? Nice. Where does one get ... those?

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Mar 242012
 
Paperback 510: Chariot Books 172 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Sinful Wife
Author: Ray Damon
Cover artist: Uncredited (back cover = photo cover)

Yours for: Not For Sale (donation from Doug Peterson)


CB172.SinfulWife
Best things about this cover:
  • "Look, Steve, I like you, but briskly rubbing my nipple with the butt of your gun is just not doing it for me."
  • I wish she were standing up so I could see her underwear better (without all the messed up perspective). It's kind of cute.
  • Is she a doctor? It looks like she just flopped back on the bed and threw open her lab coat in a fit of passion. Or dyspepsia. Her facial expression is kind of enigmatic.


CB172bc.SinWife

Best things about this back cover:
  • Here's Stella showing off the lamp that earned her a 2nd place ribbon in the "Most Ridiculous Novelty Lamp" competition at the county fair. She also received an Honorable Mention for "Biggest Damn Lampshade Anyone's Ever Seen."
  • I'm sure she's very sexy under that Grandma's-MuuMuu of a nightgown.
  • Is there anything that lamp can't do. I'm pretty sure it tells time, and possibly provides shelter for a small family. 
  • And the award for "Most Uses of the Verb 'Come' on the Back Cover of a Paperback" goes to ...

Page 123~

The gear shift was a big lever jutting up beside me with a button on top.

"I'll thank you not to talk about my penis that way," exclaimed Steve.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Mar 112012
 
Paperback 509: Gold Medal s1110 (3rd ptg, 1961)

Title: So Wicked My Love
Author: Bruno Fischer
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $10


GM1110.SoWicked
Best things about this cover:

  • I know there's a naked lady on the cover, and I do love naked ladies, but oh my god all I can think about is that awesome chair and how I want to have it right now.
  • I don't normally like photo covers all that much—I started collecting these things for the *art*, after all—but I do like the design on this one. It's like an updated "keyhole" cover—so I can feel like a modern peeping tom, with my telescope / binoculars / James Bond spying device.
  • She has double coy-hand. It's very weird. I hope those are throw pillows she's holding against her, because it kinda looks like she's clutching a dirty, gaudy bathmat.



GM1110bc.SoWicked
Best things about this back cover:

  • Ugh, nothing. Come on, Gold Medal!
  • Ah ... Cherry. Now I get the red background thingie on the cover.
  • She's pert, like a deadly cobra. You know, the rare Pert Cobra of Pensacola.
  • This isn't even good bad prose. It's just bad. Bruno Fischer deserves better!


Page 123~

She turned her head to her husband, who was pulling a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pants. "Frankie, honey, would you mind leaving us alone?"  
He looked at her in that blue cotton robe clinging to her flesh. "Yeah," he said, "I mind."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

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