Jun 262012
 
Paperback 543: Ember Library 394 (PBO, 1967)

Title: The Shame Sell
Author: Alan Marshall (sometime pseudonym of Donald Westlake)
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $30

EL394.ShameSell_0001
Best things about this cover:
  • "Gee, putting together this new life-model kit is a blast!"
  • "So, you're telling me the cup goes ... like this ... and it keeps those things on the front of your chest from bouncing so much? Wow."
  • Seriously, he's putting that bra *on* to that girl, and he's even doing *that* wrong.
  • "I call this painting 'Drunk Girl Airs Out Her Pits.'"
  • Actually, I would call this painting "How To Ruin a Perfectly Good Picture of a Naked Woman." 1. Add creepy man-child. 2. have her do something inexplicable with her arms while making stupid drunk-face. 3. Replace pubic area with scary, uniformly black patch. Boner averted!


EL394bc.ShameSell

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Who could believe the truth?" I'm guessing Not Me.
  • Ah, the ad game. Oh, so the guy on the cover must be Dan Drooper from AMC's "Sad Men." 
  • I hope the butterfly net is nonmetaphorical.

Page 123~

Jon sat back, rested his elbows on the arms of the swivel chair, tapped his fingers together, and eyed the ceiling. "C. F., the way I see it, it's time for you to escalate against Oona. The situation is peaking out, and so a certain accclimatizing seems to be in order."

Even the guy in the book replied, "A certain what?" Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go escalate against Oona ... *if* you know what I mean (do you? 'cause I don't)

~RP

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Jun 152012
 
Paperback 538: Signet 1326 (4th ptg, 1956)

Title: Nightmare Alley
Author: William Lindsay Gresham
Cover artist: James Avati

Yours for: $21



Sig1326.NightAlley
Best things about this cover:

  • A noir classic. Early editions (Signets, like this one) are pretty rare. New York Review of Books reissued this book a couple years ago.
  • "Nightmare Alley, or The Carny's Ennui"
  • "I'm so ashamed that Eddie Munster has to see me in this get-up."
  • Not just "frank"—"Brutally Frank!" This book is so frank, it hurts my eyeballs.
  • No lie, I love her outfit. Pants could be a little lower-waisted, but the bra is a total win.




Sig1326bc.NightAlley

Best things about this back cover:

Ooh, the rarely seen "Double Frank" paperback. Nice. Whoa, triple ... though that SF Chronicle quote is really just a callback of the front cover copy.

William Lindsay Gresham is not happy with how this photo session is going.
"Magician."


Page 123~

Under that brilliant stare she began to simper and found it difficult to control her hands.

This explains why she's looking away from him and anchoring her hands on the edge of the, let's say, dunk tank.

~RP

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Jun 132012
 
Paperback 537: Dell 542 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Fools Die on Friday
Author: A.A. Fair (aka Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: not for sale (donation to the collection), but FYI, it's prolly worth about $30

Dell542.FoolsFri_0001
Best things about this cover:
  • Reader K. Harvey was helping clean out the house of a friend's aunt and she came across a treasure trove of old paperbacks. She offered to send them to me. I accepted. So a couple days ago I got a box crammed full of Fair/Gardner books (as well as some Leslie Charteris / "Saint" stuff), all of which are in good-to-great condition. There must be 35-40 books in all. A generous donation, from which we will all benefit—I'll try to post all the covers here, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time (to highlight certain stylistic trends) over the course of the summer, while still moving steadily through my collection (don't want to overdose on Gardner). 
  • I lead with this cover because it is legendary. Future editions of this book will button her shirt and hide her panties, making her look far more elegant, far less slatternly. I.e. yawn. Behold:
  • "... just enough to cover yourself ..." Well, I guess she's ready then.
  • I love old half-face there on the left. In particular, his tie. And his eyes. He's doing that "I can magically see behind me" thing that people on paperback covers and in soap operas sometimes do. He looks like every man Robert Stanley ever drew, i.e. like Mike Shayne.
  • If it weren't for the boobs, I'd have to say "cross-dresser."


Dell542bc.FoolsFri

Best things about this back cover:
  • Mapback!
  • "Real clues" — none of the fake stuff for us, thanks.
  • BALLWIN looks allllll kinds of wrong.
  • Love the building cutaway—like a giant just tore the top half of the apartment off.

Page 123~

She pushed back her stenographic chair, walked over to a shelf, whipped out a map, and placed it on the counter.

I am slightly in love with the phrase "stenographic chair," which I did not realize until just now was a thing.

~RP

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May 092012
 
Paperback 526: Signet S1621(5th ptg, 1960)

Title: The Courting of Susie Brown
Author: Erskine Caldwell
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $5

Sig1621.Courting
Best things about this cover:
  • The Delousing of Susie Brown.
  • Is this it? I have to believe that something far more salacious than this was painted over in thick purple. That would explain how Wrong her elbow looks. 
  • Also, how big is that chair seat? I see the chair, and it appears she is sitting on it, and yet those ... gowns? rags? ... she's sitting on don't appear to have anything to do with the chair. They're just ... hovering. 
  • Maybe the comb in a girl's lap is some kind of sexy visual shorthand I just don't get.



Sig1621bc.Susie
Best things about this back cover:
  • The Human Comedy ... is a novel by William Saroyan. And a series of novels by Honoré de Balzac. Like those classics, this book ... is also fiction.
  • Here is mirth and disaster. There be dragons.

Page 123~
   Dessie gripped the phone.
   "Did you say Waldo has a big roll of money?" she shouted. "Greenbacks tied with a string around the middle?"
   "He surely has, Mrs. Murdock. It's the biggest roll of money I've seen on a man since the Democrats took over."
   Dessie, who had risen from the chair until she was almost erect, sat down, hard.
Dessie and Mrs. Murdock found that by substituting "roll of money" for "penis," they drew far fewer outraged stares.

~RP

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May 042012
 
Paperback 522: Avon 258 (1st thus, 1950)

Title: Hope of Heaven
Author: John O'Hara
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10

Avon258.Hope
Best things about this cover:
  • She's stuck somewhere between sexy strip-tease and "I need help with my coat jackass why are you just standing there staring?"
  • It's a shame she's caught in this awkward in-between state, because if she'd just put the jacket back on and turn around, I bet she'd look stunning. Also, if she just took it off, probably same.
  • She is lit *beautifully*; gives her a fantastic angelic/demonic quality (the deep red backdrop helps with the "demonic" part). 
  • Dude's hair is shiny.


Avon258bc.Hope
Best things about this back cover:
  • I love DON MILLER so much right now. I want to see him in a film noir right now.
  • I kind of want someone to tell naive me what it means that James Malloy "still wondered whether Karen had dimples on her knees," and then again I kind of like just using my imagination.
  • "Frankness!" O man, I've missed "frank"—feels like it's been a while.

Page 123~
   "I'll give you the address of my agent. If you get in a bad jam, I mean you're badly on the nut or something like that, you write me care of this guy, and I'll let you have some more. On one condition."
   "That I never bother Peggy. I know. And thanks for the offer, but I'll never bother you, either. I don't think I will. If I do, don't send me any money. It'll only go for booze. That's what this is going for."
   He had half a load on now, but was carrying it well.
Is this DON MILLER? God I love this guy. "It'll only go for booze." Nosce te ipsum, Don Miller!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

P.S. Page 120 has this gem, of special relevance to me and my geographical situationality:
"But by that time I didn't give a God damn. I was one of those fellows, give a dog a bad name, and by that time I was living off a whore in Binghamton, New York." [this last phrase is underlined in pen–the only such phrase in the whole book]
Mar 252012
 
Paperback 512: Ember Library 346 (PBO, 1966)

Title: The Restless Romeo
Author: J.X. Williams
Cover artist: someone having too much fun

Yours for: Not for Sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)


EL346.Romeo
Best things about this cover:

  • Romeo got restless, so he did what any restless young man might do: he used his car to hunt women for sport. Really calms the nerves. I hear.
  • "These eyes ... fry every night ... for you."
  • Who runs with their arms like that? Or is she doing crazed, doped-up calisthenics in the desert? I see: her boyfriend isn't trying to run her down—he's slowly backing away. Yes, her body is pretty amazing, but you do *not* want her attention when she's like this. "Please don't around please don't turn around please..."
  • I believe this is the picture for which the phrase "hopped up on goofballs" was invented.



EL346bc.Romeo
Best things about this back cover:

  • "Romeo," eh? I must have missed the part in Shakespeare's play where Romeo snatches Juliet and takes her to the basement of his villa.


Page 123~

Waves of heat invaded his body. Thoroughly stimulated by her weight, he dug his fingers into the blooming bottom and squirmed until she had difficulty holding him. Her cheeks, feeling damp and massive, began a tortured and rhythmic writhing.

Since when are "damp and massive" butt cheeks sexy? Not sure what I should expect from a guy who (on the previous page) describes breasts as "lurching mounds," but ... I mean, there's unsexy, and then there's The Opposite Of Sexy. Yikes.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Mar 242012
 
Paperback 510: Chariot Books 172 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Sinful Wife
Author: Ray Damon
Cover artist: Uncredited (back cover = photo cover)

Yours for: Not For Sale (donation from Doug Peterson)


CB172.SinfulWife
Best things about this cover:
  • "Look, Steve, I like you, but briskly rubbing my nipple with the butt of your gun is just not doing it for me."
  • I wish she were standing up so I could see her underwear better (without all the messed up perspective). It's kind of cute.
  • Is she a doctor? It looks like she just flopped back on the bed and threw open her lab coat in a fit of passion. Or dyspepsia. Her facial expression is kind of enigmatic.


CB172bc.SinWife

Best things about this back cover:
  • Here's Stella showing off the lamp that earned her a 2nd place ribbon in the "Most Ridiculous Novelty Lamp" competition at the county fair. She also received an Honorable Mention for "Biggest Damn Lampshade Anyone's Ever Seen."
  • I'm sure she's very sexy under that Grandma's-MuuMuu of a nightgown.
  • Is there anything that lamp can't do. I'm pretty sure it tells time, and possibly provides shelter for a small family. 
  • And the award for "Most Uses of the Verb 'Come' on the Back Cover of a Paperback" goes to ...

Page 123~

The gear shift was a big lever jutting up beside me with a button on top.

"I'll thank you not to talk about my penis that way," exclaimed Steve.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

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