Clare, Author at Black Mask

Clare

Literary Heritage or Irrelevancy?

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May 212012

A couple of weeks ago there was what you might call a mini literary dust-up here in Australia following the revelation that over a third of the winners of Australia's most prestigious literary prize (the Miles Franklin Award) are now out of print.

This prize was only awarded as of 1957 so we're not talking about ancient tomes, but rather a body of literature that some people at least regard as critical. In lamenting this situation, the director of the Melbourne Writers Festival said (and I quote) "the best writing is timeless, and without some recognition and understanding of our literary history, we're forever focused on the new - as if history, knowledge and culture don't play a part in our understanding of ourselves."

In recent months there has been a lot of finger pointing about how people are losing touch with their literary heritage. This includes a lengthy debate over the failure of Australian universities to teach Australian literature and the generally shabby way in which our so-called literary darlings have been treated.

I recently attended a lecture intent on helping revive interest in some of the so-called Australian classics and I have to admit I did start to wonder - should we really be worried about such dire pronouncements about our so called literary heritage? Or does the fact that no-one is reading these novels only point to the fact that they aren't really classics that have withstood the passage of time. Maybe (dare I say it) they are just too dull to survive?

Now don't get me wrong, there are plenty of amazing books out there that are no longer in print. There are also classics, however, that continue to be as popular as ever (people are still reading Dickens and Jane Austen after all).

Should we really be force-feeding kids with books simply in the name of preserving 'literary heritage' (and to be honest I'm not sure I even know what this even means!)

Likewise I feel passionate that we shouldn't neglect our literary past or ignore well-written books in order to merely pander to popular taste but the study of literature is (I hope) about much more than either of these things....

And yet...

What does this say about the relevance of so-called 'classics' to readers today? Should we be forced to feel some collective guilt over what may just be a natural evolutionary process (whereby the torpid and the dull don't survive?)

What do you think? No matter whether you live (and I'm assuming Australia isn't alone in it's predicament - although if it is, that might be even more telling!) do you think we should be concerned about our so-called literary heritage? Should we be worried about keeping the winners of prestigious writing awards in print - or should we just let history (and the readers) decide?

Responding to Feedback/Criticism

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May 142012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

We have done a number of first-page critiques in recent weeks and I thought it might be a good time to think about how writers should respond to feedback and/or criticism. I think I speak for many when I say that dealing with criticism is one of the hardest things you have to do as a writer, especially when you get a myriad of comments, some of which are contradictory!

Even some of our recent critiques show that feedback can be a very subjective thing - what might be a really compelling first page for one person may be a complete let down for another...so how should writers handle criticism?

I think first and foremost, you need to take note of consistent feedback about a particular aspect of your writing. With many of our first page critiques there was a commonality of responses - often that the page involved too much 'telling' and not enough 'showing', or that it failed to have sufficient dramatic weight to tug a reader into the story. This kind of consistent feedback is useful stuff and, though sometimes a writer has to suck it up, it's worth listening to.

It becomes more problematic when there are contradictory comments, especially if the feedback is 'this really worked for me' versus 'this didn't work at all for me'. Such contrasting responses are harder to deal with - not merely because you can never satisfy everyone (if you did it would be way too dull a world!).

Here is my rule of thumb: If it speaks to me as a valid criticism (deep inside, once I get past pride and ego...), then I take it on board. If not, I seek additional validation from others that I trust, to see if they agree that the criticism has merit. Many times, especially in a writing class, some criticism is more about the reviewer's own issues that the work itself.

As a writer you have to get used to all forms of criticism, because you'll get it from fellow writers, readers, agents, editors and reviewers. How you respond can be indicative of how seriously you take your art. Here at TKZ, I have been very impressed by how the people who have fessed up to their submissions have taken the critiques and comments provided. Everyone has behaved professionally and has been gracious and respectful of the feedback offered. Thankfully, we have seen for the most part only insightful and helpful commentary...but for many of us, there will come a time when it won't be, and we will have to work out how to respond (or if to respond at all, as sometimes it is better to remain silent!). It could be the crazed one-star Amazon reviewer, or the snarky anonymous commentator...or it could even be a scathing review in a prestigious book review (we can dream, can't we!)

So, how have you all found the first page critiques so far? Are they helpful in a wider sense or limited to the author who submitted them?

Have you ever had a really wrenching 'criticism' moment - and, if so, how did you deal with it? Were you tempted to get into an all out flame war with someone who dissed your work or did you just take a deep breath and hoped to disappear into the floor?

Grounding the Reader – First Page Critique

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May 072012

Today's first page critique is for a piece entitled Eyes in the Ashes. By now, you all know the drill, and my comments follow:

Layla blinked, unable to see. She strained trying to see something, anything in the pitch-black darkness. She groaned. Her head hurt, much worse than a hangover ever had and the pain throbbed in time with her heartbeat. She ran her fingers over her face, her eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered against her fingertips. They were open, nothing covered her face, but something sticky was all over it. She tried to think. The last thing she remembered - walking out of the back room of the art studio. She’d heard someone in the outer room and when she walked out caught a movement out of the corner of her eye, someone grabbed her and then…. Nothing.

She couldn’t remember. She must have blacked out. She waved her hand in front of her face. Why can’t I see? I can’t be blind. She tried to sit up but something tangled around her body, some sort of soft, smooth material. A sheet? She struggled to loosen it and sat up. The movement sent her head spinning. She groaned, pulled her legs up and dropped her head to her knees. “Oh God” she whimpered and the sound echoed all around her.

“h h h hello” she whispered.

Her voice echoed back to her. Something rustled behind her and from nearby came a high pitched squeak. She drew in a startled breath and shuddered. A horrible stench stung her nose and throat. She grabbed the cloth and covered her mouth, trying not to gag. Noises all around her now, squeaking, fluttering , scratching. She struggled to her feet, swayed when they sank into the mushy ground. Something cold and wet crept between her toes.

She grimaced and stumbled forward, one foot at time, dragging the sheet with her like a security blanket. She held one hand out in front of her, groping, searching, hoping to find something solid to touch. Her throat stung and she took shallow breaths as she shuffled forward.

“Don’t pass out, don’t pass out”.

My comments:

I liked the visceral sense of foreboding that this first page evoked, and the author has created a situation that is both compelling and scary. I must confess, however, to finding myself a little 'ungrounded' at times in the scene.

First off, I found the phrase that her eyes "were open, nothing covered her face, but something sticky was all over it", awkward. I started thinking about how her eyelashes could flutter if they were sticky which made me question whether her eyes had sticky stuff over them or not (which is making the reader work too hard!). Then, having discovered this stuff all over her face, why didn't she try and work out what it was? (I was imaging all sorts of horrible stuff...) But instead she immediately starts thinking back to what had happened at the art studio. As a reader, I confess I wanted to get a stronger sense of the horror and panic she must be feeling.

Two paragraphs later, when the horrible stench 'stung her nose and throat', I wondered how she hadn't noticed this immediately (had there not been a stench before then?) When the cold and wet seeped between her toes, I realized I had no idea whether she was clothed or not and, given I assumed she was clothed when she was attacked, wondered how she could notice the softness of the sheet around her but not the state of her undress (or at least the fact that she didn't have any shoes and socks on)? This is when I think the author needed to think through the sensory experiences depicted and make sure they were consistent and well-grounded so that, even though the reader is as unsure as the protagonist about what has happened, we feel like we have enough information to keep reading without getting confused.

I would also have expected her to scream or yell rather than whisper 'hello' (I certainly would panic in this situation!) but I was willing to go along with this reaction until I learned more about her as a character. On a more pedantic note, the sentence at the end of the first paragraph: "She’d heard someone in the outer room and when she walked out caught a movement out of the corner of her eye, someone grabbed her and then…. Nothing." is awkwardly phrased (and grammatically incorrect - is something missing perhaps?). I think the author needed to proof read this page a little more closely. (For another example, the word 'stung' is used twice which is repetitive for one page).

Otherwise, I was intrigued. I would probably keep reading but I would want to be a little more firmly grounded, in terms of her sensory experiences and location, to feel fully engaged in the story.

What do you think?

Today’s Critique

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Apr 302012

Today's first page critique is entitled: DEAD ON THE VINE. My comments follow, but overall I think today's piece raises issues specifically dealing with voice, setting and tone...more on that after the piece:

Chief TR Henderson tried to maintain an appearance of competence and dignity as he approached the conference table for the meeting, but the chair groaned when he sat down, and Commissioner Dale Kirkpatrick flashed him the stink eye. Splendid. He was still at the top of her Stink List.

“You’re late.” Commissioner Rick Petit didn’t bother looking up from his notes.

“My apologies,” TR replied. “I stopped to help a disabled on Second Ave.” The smell of coffee and croissants called to him, but he resisted. Instead, he tried getting comfortable on the metal folding chair. It wasn’t going to happen. The commissioners all sat in padded chairs, forming a firing squad on the other side of a conference table the size of Rhode Island, and they stuck their mammoth chief of police in a folding chair. Classy.

Kirkpatrick maintained her narrow-eyed glare, now directed at the fresh spot of motor oil on TR’s shirt.

He couldn’t be more delighted with the attention.

Petit finally looked up. “Thanks for coming. You know this isn’t easy for any of us.”

TR nodded.

“The drug problem is growing worse.” Petit glanced at his notes before continuing. “We want to know what you’re doing about it.”

Simple enough question. “Officer Mendoza is—”

“What are you doing about it?” Kirkpatrick demanded.

“I put my best officer on it,” he responded. “Mendoza’s got fifteen years of experience dealing with—”

“That’s great,” Petit said, “but what’s he doing now? When’s he going to arrest Lester Rowley?”

TR sat back and fought to keep a smile from cracking. “We have no proof that Lester Rowley has anything to do with the drug trade at the high school.”

My comments:

Overall, this first page didn't grab me. I found the tone a little inconsistent and the humor unsure of itself. The use of 'stink eye' and 'stink list' and asides like 'classy' are, I assume, designed to create a slightly smart-arse/wise guy tone but I didn't really get that - instead it seemed a bit juvenile given the caliber of the men in the room (all police commissioners). I also didn't really understand where we were - it sounds like a board room, with coffee, croissants and a massive conference table - yet all the commissioners are in comfy chairs and TR gets a metal folding chair (? really? I couldn't picture this) and it was a metal chair that groaned when he sat down in it (which seems a very un-metallic word - wouldn't it squeak, clang or grind?).

The dialogue also seems unsure of itself - why does Petit say "You know this isn't easy for any of us"? Surely a drug problem at a high school is hardly an overwhelming issue and also why does TR fight to keep a smile from cracking when he says there's no proof Lester Rowley has anything to do with the drug trade? Again, as a reader I am unsure whether this is supposed to be serious, slightly tongue-in-cheek or what. So far the author's voice and tone aren't clear to me. Nor is the setting (apart from a generic conference room that I couldn't really picture). I need to be able to visualize the setting as well as the characters not merely be told that the Chief of police tried to 'maintain an appearance of competence and dignity' - how? What did he do? Did he straighten his jacket, look wisely over his glasses?? I had a hard time picturing him or the other commissioners in the room.

Though this first page had references to some kind of ongoing issue between TR and Commissioner Dale Kirkpatrick I don't get a sufficient sense of tension to care - nor am I really compelled to read on as yet. In short, I think this first page needs a clearer voice and tone, a stronger sense of place and character and a big dose of drama and tension. At the moment it feels too uncertain and too passive to be compelling.

What do you think?

Inside the Mind of Evil

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Apr 232012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

Today's first page critique raises the tricky area of starting a novel from the antagonist's perspective or getting 'inside the mind of evil'. As this page reveals it can be a very effective technique - but (and this is a big but) you have to be careful. It can very easily fall into cliche. As this first page reveals, however, it can also be a great way to suck your reader in quickly to the story - raising the stakes as well as the tension.

So here is the first page of the submission entitled SINS OF THE FATHER.

My comments follow at the end.

Sunday, August 12

Erin looks like his first. The resemblance was clear from the moment he saw her: the red hair; the delicate nose and freckled skin; the way one corner of her mouth quirks up with dry humor in response to a comment from her companion. Now, watching her unobserved from the safety of fifty yards’ distance and a thicket of brush as concealment, he can see the resemblance to her namesake even more clearly. It’s as though he’s traveled back in time… As though forty years have vanished in an instant and he is a boy once more, flushed with the promise of that first kill.

Fear radiates from both she and her companion. Through night-vision goggles special ordered for just such an occasion, the Hunter can almost see Erin’s dilated pupils, the way her chest heaves as she half-drags her friend to some imagined safe port in the storm. Her friend – blonde, blue-eyed, with a close-trimmed beard and a penchant for watching her when she is unaware – is bleeding. Badly. Between his blood and the haphazard way they forge through the underbrush, tracking them is a simple matter.

The clouds are thick in the night sky, and there are thunderstorms in the forecast. The highway is at least a mile from here. Since he began tracking them, Erin has made some surprisingly foolhardy decisions – frankly, he’d expected more of her, but she’s been running in exactly the wrong direction for the past six hours. She and her friend both have cell phones, he is certain, but there’s no reception in this area – they’d have better luck using tin cans tied together with string out here. It’s only a matter of time.

He prefers hunting in the spring or fall – while the ground is still soft enough to ensure easy burial after the kill, but before the summer’s rampant overgrowth makes progress through the woods slow going. Erin forced his hand this time, but he’s not bitter about that. On the contrary, he’s looking forward to the game. He’s always loved a challenge.

My comments:

I think this first page is very effective in drawing the reader in - it establishes the scene well, raises the stakes and leaves the reader eager to learn more. There are a few minor points however that I think might make this first page even more compelling:

1. The descriptions in the first two paragraphs make it sound like we are in daylight and so when the night vision goggles are mentioned I was taken out of the story as I wondered how does he know the girl's hair is red or the man's eyes are blue if it's at night? By the third paragraph it's clear the hunter has been stalking them for hours but, still, the issue took me out of the story.

2. The use of the name 'the Hunter' took me out of the scene as well. Although this first page is written in third person, the thoughts are those of the antagonist and I wondered whether he called himself 'the Hunter' or whether it sounded too distant - pulling us away from the very close perspective we have. I would also delete 'almost' from this sentence - he can either see her dilated pupils or he can't - there is no almost - unless he is imagining it. If he feels like a hunter I would also like the author to be more specific - what kind of hunter does he see himself as (what kind of predator?) The greater the specificity there is the less likely it is to feel cliched.

3. Though this first page didn't feel too cliched to me, I do think the author needs to tread carefully, especially as the image of the perpetrator as a hunter who views his prey as sport has been done before - you need to keep it as fresh as possible.

4. I thought the last paragraph was very effective. It provided a good segway into the next paragraph/viewpoint. As a reader I wanted to know more about how Erin and her companion got into this situation and what they could possibly do to avoid being the next 'kill'. The author balanced the need for information with the need for action really well, and I for one would read on.

So what did you all think? What is your views on successfully portraying the inner mind of the antagonist? Does this first page succeed? Would you keep reading?

Disconnection

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Apr 162012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

I had the most frustrating experience this weekend as I returned to Australia only to discover that the painters who had been painting the inside of our house had not only failed to return any of the furniture to its rightful place but had also managed to disconnect our wifi. After 15 hours flying solo with my twin 7-year olds in tow I can't say I was thrilled to face either prospect - but it was the disconnection from the outside world that I found the hardest to bear.

After trying and failing to reconnect the wifi (picture a heap of tangled wires, various Apple, Sonos and wifi devices on the ground and me, tech-moron extraordinaire, standing over it all in despair) I found myself hunched over my iPhone desperately trying to send email and texts and reading the news in 4pt font. I never thought of myself as addicted to being online but once I was disconnected I realized just how ingrained my need for internet access 24/7 had become.

It's amazing how everything I do - from my role as secretary to the local American Women's Auxiliary to my writing job - depends on email. I couldn't email the agenda for our board meeting or send my latest proposal to my agent. I was truly (if only temporarily) off the grid...and it kinda freaked me out.

Of course, my husband has now managed to instruct me long-distance how to restore all necessary connections so I am back online but not before I realized (sadly) just how reliant I had become.

So what about you? How would you cope being 'disconnected' - would you revel in the freedom of not being tethered online or would you, like me, stare into the void and blink...

Pushing the Boundaries

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Apr 092012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

A writer friend and I recently made a pact to try something totally different - to push the boundaries of our writing 'comfort zone' - once we have finished our current WIPs . Our rationale was two fold - first, as a bit of fun and second, as a challenge to see if we could write something that neither of us felt we'd ever been able to write without either dying of embarrassment or dissolving into a fit of giggles. Yes, you guessed it - we have challenged each other to 'tackle' writing an erotic short story.

Now I suspect that my story, at least, will never see the light of day but nonetheless, I am looking forward to pushing the envelope of my own writing and trying something that has never in the past felt comfortable to write. Call it 'expanding my writing horizons' - but I think that, as an artist, you need to occasionally challenge your assumptions and do something that you have never attempted before. The results could be pitiful as well as crappy but the important thing is the challenge itself - and both my friend and I are doing it with serious intent (part of the challenge is that we are to submit what we write for publication). At the moment the challenge seems a long way off, as I doubt the first draft of my new WIP will be completed much before the middle of the year, but I am looking forward to flexing some important writing muscles to tackle something brand new.

So what is your view on challenging your own creativity and writing skills? Have you ever contemplated trying to write something outside your comfort zone just to see what happens?

In my own work to date I have tended to avoid graphic violence and sex, so for me, part of the reason for challenging my own comfort zone is to free up my own creativity. Though I doubt I will become the future doyenne of erotic fiction, who knows what might happen...perhaps the writing exercise alone will reveal new aspects of the craft of writing I never knew existed (either that or I will merely be mortified with embarrassment). Still there is no progress without taking a risk...right?

When did you last step outside your comfort zone and take a risk with your own writing?

Traveling

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Apr 022012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

Apologies but I am on my way to Tucson so won't be posting today but I will be back next week blogging again!
Cheers
Clare

Agent Timelines

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Mar 262012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

Recently a friend sent off a manuscript to an agent and asked me how long she should wait before sending it out to other agents. Under normal circumstances, I would have said she could send out simultaneous queries, but this agent was a referral who had requested the entire manuscript so I counselled her to wait to give this agent a decent chance to respond. But, she asked, how long should I wait?

Good question. How long should you wait to hear back from an agent before you start following up/move on/feel resigned to your fate?

I'm not sure I have the answer - all I can say is that, in my experience, authors are (by and large ) an impatient lot and agents are (by and large ) an extremely busy lot who can take their sweet time in getting back to you. So today's blog is about expectations as to agent responses (and I'd love to get some feedback from my fellow TKZers on what is a 'reasonable' response time). I think (as a pretty impatient author myself) it can be tricky knowing when to expect a response from agents, particularly when you are a debut author.

When I first sought out an agent I had no idea what to expect but, after I had some requests for partials following on from the SF Writer's conference, I sent out my material and waited. I had some responses within couple of weeks but the agent I eventually signed with took close to 6 weeks to respond. I even had one agent (the outlier!) who contacted me months later to ask if I had representation yet! (Then again, an editor did contact my agent a few weeks before my first novel was due to be released expressing interest in the manuscript so I wonder if their isn't an alternate form of time known as "publisher and agent time" out there in the ether!)

Obviously, if you haven't heard from an agent within what you think is an acceptable time period you should follow up with a professional email (no - "why have you not bothered to contact me, can't you tell my work is genius?!" emails please!). I think it's also perfectly fine to ask them for an estimated date that you could expect to hear back from them - though be aware, you may not still not receive any response.

So what do you think are reasonable time frames for an agent to respond to:

An initial query letter; or
A partial manuscript; or
A full manuscript and (hopefully later on...any subsequent manuscripts you send!)

How long have you waited for an agent to respond?

Deadlines

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Mar 192012

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

On Friday, John provided a great blog post responding to specific questions regarding the agent/publication process. One of these questions considered the issue of deadlines - something I want to expand upon today. Deadlines, both those imposed by editors/publishers and those self-imposed, are (I think) one of the defining elements of being a professional (as opposed to hobby) writer.

Deadlines make you both accountable and responsible. But what does that really mean when you aren't as yet published? It means you know that in order to achieve your larger goal (writing the novel, getting it published etc.) you need to divide the task into manageable chunks and (here is where it gets tricky) you need to meet the deadlines you impose upon yourself. Otherwise you're just like the billions of amateur writers whining about how 'one day' they will write a book but (insert excuse here...) they never seem to get around to it. In today's post I want to deal with both publisher as well as personal deadlines.

Publisher Imposed Deadlines:

As John said in his blog post on Friday, these deadlines are pretty much inviolable. If, as the author, you miss these then there is a cascading effect on the whole publication cycle. Worse case scenario the publisher views it as a breach of contract and pulls out of the deal. Best case scenario you inconvenience a whole lot of other people. So if you do need to extend, you'd better have a pretty good excuse.

My rather strict view of deadlines also extends to how you fulfil them. I've heard of an author who views the submission date with her publisher with a bit of a shrug - sure, she gets them the manuscript, but she's not too concerned about making it perfect as she knows the editor will get back to her with comments, so she views the deadline as a necessary evil and continues to work through the book even while waiting for the editor to peruse and comment upon it. I differ on this in that I go into each deal with the belief that, whatever I submit has to be as damn-near-perfect as it possible. To me this is how professionals fulfil their obligations - not with a half-hearted shrug but with a commitment to demonstrating their craft to the highest degree possible.

Of course when it comes to an authors first book, the initial draft manuscript is what was acquired but any amendments to this (based on editorial feedback) should be treated with the same level of professionalism and adherence to deadlines. If an editor doesn't provide a deadline (which would be highly unusual) then I would request or set one - that way the author remains on track and accountable to a timetable.

So what do you do if you have to seek a deadline extension?

This is where a good agent can act on an author's behalf to mitigate against this - but the author must still have a genuine excuse for seeking an extension given the potential impact it has on the publisher. When it comes to agents, I would also recommend setting deadlines (for the agent as well as yourself) to ensure there remains a level of responsiveness and accountability that demonstrates an author's professionalism.

Self-Imposed Deadlines

As a professional writer I like to set myself specific goals for my WIP to keep me on track. Typically I lay out a timetable to complete certain chapters or parts of the books to ensure I don't face the overwhelming panic of producing a novel. When the tasks ahead are in manageable chunks the path seems far less onerous (or scary). The first thing I do is also set the date I want to get the draft manuscript to my agent and then work backwards from there.

Sometimes I give my agent an initial deadline for the first 5-10 chapters and the proposed plot outline so I can get his read/feedback on the project ahead. Then I always tell him the date I propose getting the complete manuscript to him - it helps establish my own timetable as well as alerting him to my goal (and, I hope, demonstrate I am tackling it in a serious, professional manner).

As a terrible procrastinator, self-imposed deadlines are vital to keeping me on track as a professional writer.

So what about you?
Do you set your own deadlines? Do you meet them?
Have you ever had to negotiate for a deadline extension from your publisher and if so, how did it go?

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